To Transition or Not

In America and around the world there are many transgender individuals, some out and some not. Those of us that are out in the open have our problems just like anyone else, but some of those problems are because we don’t have the support that cisgender people have. For example, someone who has transitioned from male to female might find it difficult when taking hormones, and not understanding the changes that are happening. So I am here to outline and give support to those that are going through their transition, and those who are scared to come out.

So let me start with the ones that have yet to start their transition. Now in this part I am speaking to those that are transitioning from male to female. At some point in yalls life, there was a moment that y’all knew that something was off and different about you. Those things might have been some of the following:

  • Uneasiness in mens clothes
  • Feeling like you don’t fit in with the guys
  • Liking feminine things and feeling feminine
  • The desire to transition
  • Possible depression

There are others things that people may feel leading up to transition, everyone is different. So just take those items as possible answers to some of the questions you may ask yourselves.

The next part goes out to the ones that are starting transition. When it comes to starting your transition there will be all kinds of thongs going through your head. Some of these will probably be:

  • I am so happy to be living my true life
  • Can not wait to change my name
  • Can not wait to buy new clothes
  • Can not wait for my hair to grow out, so that I can style it

Those are some of the positive things that will be going through your heads. the next list of items will be more on the scary side but I not here to sugar coat this. Those things are:

  • Will I lose all of my friends?
  • Will I lose any of my family members?
  • What will my mom and dad think about this?
  • Who should my therapist be?
  • Should I tell my work?

Those are the more serious questions and need serious answers. The difficult part is that those answers are not easy. Will you lose friends? The answer is probably yes, but do not let that get you down. In the beginning I lost plenty of friends, some of them had known me for over a decade. After my first few years of transitioning, I began to settle in to my new life and I began to meet new people and make new friends. Will you lose any family members? Once again that is a hard one to answer, but i’ll put it like this. You will lose some relatives but not family. We do not get to pick who we are related to, but we do get to pick our family. Should you tell work? My advice on that is to NOT do that at first. Feel your work place out and see where it stands. If you already do not like your job, then find a new one. When you interview for the new job, go as yourself, not the old person you had to pretend to be. The question about your parents is the most difficult. You basically have a fifty/ fifty shot at being supported by your parents. For me, one parent is very accepting and the other could try a little harder to be accepting. So take it slow and ease your parents into the transition.

These are just some of the things that come up in the beginning of a transition. Each year brings more and more things to the table,some good, some bad. Just remember the LGBTQ community is your family and we are always here to help.

-Adeline

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